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Hungry? Why wait? Especially since the food being offered at the Olympic venues apparently sucked so bad that Snickers became the number two chocolate bar in China this quarter, either for lack of better options, the fact that Chinese officials kept visitors away from the Olympic Green, or following a deal chocolate maker Mars signed to make the deliciously nutty snack the official chocolate of the Beijing Games.

Snickers, known over there as “Shilijia,” has been around in China for the last fifteen years, but it took the giant marketing tie-in of the games for the Chinese to come around on the junk-food. Or rather, it took the build up to the giant marketing tie-in to get the Chinese on the road toward the ambitious goal of obesity.

The game plan for introducing the East to a snack that costs about half of what the average Chinese teen spends a day? Only a little gimmick that definitely wouldn’t fly in the U.S.

Earlier this year, Mars hosted a Snickers Street Olympics tournament in Beijing of “hybrid sports” events like Basoccer, a mix of basketball and soccer with trash cans for goals, and Streetminton, a combination of badminton and break dancing.

Also offered was Snickers Jump Satisfaction, an event in which participants jumped over as many Snickers bars as possible to win them. Mars offered tickets to the real Olympic Games as prizes.

Cute! Clever! Genius! But it sure as hell would never work here!

Americans love corporate sponsored contests as much as the next guy, and there is that Red Bull flying machine contest every year to get kids out of their houses, but America’s youth are more interested in getting their corporate exercise by playing Rock Band and finding viral video endorsements on YouTube. Going outside to participate in made-up sports? They barely go outside to participate in real sports.

But at least our fatness has plateaued. So there’s that.

[JOSSIP]

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Tomorrow is the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics, where the world’s greatest athletes will gather to compete in contests of legendary skill and strength and compare the definition of their ab muscles. For sports fans—and fans of tight and toned bodies—it’s also a great opportunity for sight seeing. We recommend the swimming or beach volleyball venues, since they tend to have the fittest girls and the skimpiest outfits. However, there are beautiful babes in every sport and discipline so to celebrate the lighting of the torch we offer this gallery of smoking hot Summer Olympic athletes past and present. Let the Games begin!

Via Fleshbot

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“Cosmetics giant L’Oréal painted Beyonce a lighter shade of brown for a new Elle magazine ad…”

[CF via SH]

UPDATE: FROM The Huffington Post

NEW YORK — Cosmetics giant L’Oreal is denying it lightened Beyonce’s skin tone in an ad.

“We highly value our relationship with Ms. Knowles. It is categorically untrue that L’Or�al Paris altered Ms. Knowles’ features or skin tone in the campaign for Feria hair color,” the Paris-based company said in a statement sent to the Associated Press through the singer’s representative.

The ad is in the current edition of Elle magazine.

L’Oreal, the maker of Garnier hair care and Lancome cosmetics, is the world’s largest cosmetics maker.

A representative for Beyonce said the singer would have no comment beyond L’Oreal’s statement.

Beyonce has been a spokeswoman for L’Or�al since 2001.

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A French ad for the soft drink Orangina:

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BBC’s ad for the Olympics. Does it make sense? Is it aimed at people on LSD?

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Some of Britain’s Olympians strip for a new Powerade advertising campaign:

Read the full article here…

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 Eva Mendes shed her top in a new commercial for Calvin Klein’s “Secret Obession” perfume. Which, we guess, smells like morning-after hair and mascara clumps. Eva’s commercial was banned in the United States because women’s nipples are evil and belong to Satan and, thus, cannot be shown on TV alongside more important things like knife fights and teenagers having sex under bleachers. We don’t really see this ad as being particularly racy, especially since it appears that Eva is in the throes of a febrile seizure throughout.

(Gaunabee)

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Perhaps you’ve heard the news that Nike has pulled its “That Ain’t Right” balls-in-face ads after an outpouring of outrage sparked largely by this very website (though we weren’t the first to address it). Are you proud of yourselves, commentariat? You are feared in all corners of corporate America. But the larger point here is that advertising is getting to be a very touchy business; companies are making fools of themselves nearly every week because of the crackheaded work of one of their ad agencies. After the jump, we look at five ads that had to be yanked recently, where they went wrong, and who came out ahead. Read and learn:
Nike’s balls-in-face Hyperdunk poster

What happened: Nike’s ad depicting a b-ball player getting posterized sports an unfortunate tagline to go with the unfortunate image, and plays on a baseline of macho homophobia. The ad is pulled just days after the company feels the awesome power of mildly piqued blog readers.

The lesson: Sports must be slightly more gay-conscious.

Winners: Gays, basketball fans (in the long run), Adidas, which makes cooler shoes.

Losers: Nikes, macho guys, those who will be deprived of this perspective on Hyperdunk technology.

Snickers and Mr. T

What happened: Snickers ad shows Mr. T in a pickup truck, shooting at a swishy speed walker with a gatling gun. Tagline: “Get some nuts!” Gays cry foul, company folds.

The lesson: Anti-gay image or tagline alone leaves deniability; both together is too much.

Winners: Gays, speed walkers.

Losers: Snickers, alpha males, remnants of Mr. T’s career.

JC Penney’s Teen Sex commercial

What happened: An ad agency wins an award for a shocking (in context) commercial for JC Penney that sympathetically shows two teenagers sneaking around having sex under mom’s nose. The company sputters that the ad isn’t authorized; the ad agency apologizes; lots of people get their ass handed to them (we imagine); an opportunity for mainstream progressivism is lost.

The lesson: Your ad agency will sell you out, big time.

Winners: The type of people who buy mom jeans.

Losers: Teens, society, ad agency rebels.

Heinz’s Gay Mayo ad

What happened: Heinz ran an ad in the UK showing a man kissing a deli guy because his mayonnaise is so good. Bill O’Reilly declared the ad “obviously a gay thing,” and the company decided to pull it.

The lesson: The world is still not ready to see men kiss.

Winners: Shouting heads.

Losers: Gays, deli guys, gay deli guys.

Salesgenie.com’s Asian Panda Bears

What happened: Company runs Super Bowl ad featuring cartoon panda bears who speak in an exaggerated Asian accent. Outcry of anti-Asian racism ensues. Company hastily pulls the ads.

The lesson: If you’re gonna fuck up, don’t do it during the Super Bowl (ALSO GOES FOR FOOTBALL PLAYERS).

Winners: Asians, the New York Giants.

Losers: The idiot CEO who wrote the ad himself, his friend Bill Clinton, the New England Patriots.

(GAWKER)

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Should this ad be viewed as homophobic? The ad is for the candy bar Snickers and is currently flighted on US Tv. It portrays an effeminate man do speed walking and then interrupted by MR T. (remember him from the A-Team) pelting him with Snicker bars and the tag line “Get some Nuts”

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The first ever gay personal lubricant ad to appear on television in the USA.

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